Well. That was... interesting. I thought the subject matter of Pan/Dionysus being based on a real creature pretty cool, but it started off slow and dragged for a bit too long before escalating to the crazy climax.
There aren't many grammar issues and wrong word choices that I noticed, but there are redundancies and mixed metaphors that caught my eye. It needed to be cut down some, and it definitely needed a proofreader. Remember those? Those were the good old days.
And it left me with questions. Now I am perfectly okay with being left to my own imagination on some things by the end of a novel but there are good questions to be left with, and then there are bad ones.
The characters each had their own distinct voices for the most part, so I thought the author did a good job with that. Maybe it's because there are so many characters, but I wasn't that attached to any of them besides the old lady. She was kind of cool.
[spoiler]What was the point of needing to dig up the tree roots in order to free the ghosts, if the stump grinder is what finished the Daemon off in the end? And wtf was the point of Asa even existing? His weird was what? To die and become a ghost in order to get an elderly person to do the work instead? It didn't make much sense.[/spoiler]
I'll just leave you with this:
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I don't want to give anything away, so I will just ask this:
What kind of bargain are you willing to make in order to keep living?
Do you think it would be worth it?
]]>I really only had one issue with this, but that issue kept me from giving this 4 stars, because it bothered me so much.
Over-explaining.
The character likes to break the 3rd wall repeatedly with awkward and captain-obvious-style explanations. It’s just unnecessary, and the story would be better without. Just show it, dude. No need to tell.
For example, on the first page:
“She looked up sharply, as if – forgive me if I sound crude, it’s just my style – as if someone in a distant room had farted.”
That line would have been so much funnier without the middle part. I mean, I still laughed (because, come on, fart jokes) but it would have read better without, you know?
So yeah. Unfortunately, it hit one of my big pet peeves, otherwise this would have been 4 stars fo’ sho. The MC is kick ass and not fucking around. Well, she does fuck around some, in another way (boom chicka bow wow) but you know what I mean.
It's still good, though. Read it.
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